SALON CONFIDENTIAL: It’s a Dog’s Life

Posted: August 17, 2014 in Uncategorized

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Shit happens…..
No, I mean this literally!

Maybe I should explain….. (Stick around for the whole story and watch the video poetry at the end)

About a year ago a friend of mine talked me into getting a dog… Ya know, they thought it would be good for me because I had been living alone for the first time in many many years.
This isn’t your big manly dog that you would expect from a New Yorker such as myself. No, this is a measly little 4 pound pooch…as if being a “hairdresser” wasn’t enough of a challenge.

Well, needless to say this little pooch has found her way right into my heart, although I don’t know who had more of a challenge in the beginning, me or her!

When I first brought her home she was just a little 2 pound puppy. Here I was looking at this little fur-ball of a dog, wondering what the hell I had gotten myself into. This little thing was now completely dependent on ME to take care of her….she was SCREWED!

So I decided to default to what I knew best.. She must need a SHAMPOO! So, kitchen sink as my shampoo bowl, and the best salon shampoo I had, (I mean, Oribe Gold Lust shampoo is what every puppy needs right?) I began to lather up my new little companion. This is the moment that I began to question my ability to care for this little baby. The sudsy little girl slipped right out of my grip and right down the drain…. Mind you..this is the sink with the disposal!! With her little face sticking out of the the sink, no doubt feeling the sharp edges of the disposal on her back end, she looked up at me with a look that said “REALLY….your the one who is going to be taking care of me?” Grasping at anything I could get my fingers around to pull her from the sink abyss, I finally was able to get enough of a grip on her to bring her to safety.

I decided she was too small to leave alone all day, so I was going to need to bring her to my salon with me. So naturally potty training became my next challenge. I didn’t see myself walking a 2 pound dog on a leash, paper training was the ONLY way to go. All things considered, she caught on really quickly and used the paper most days. I wasn’t sure if she was soooo good at using the paper because she was smart, OR because of the “incident”. What incident you may ask? Well, there was this one time when I caught her getting ready to pee on the floor, and not realizing how tiny she was and my own strength, I quickly went to grab her to put her on the paper and instead she went flying across the room like a ping pong ball. It’s funny, since that day she really never had an accident…hummmmm??

The day arrives and she is ready to come to work with me. From the moment I brought her into the salon, she is loved by all. She seems to single out a few hairdressers that she wants to cuddle with, but generally her presence brings together all of the varied personalities of my staff and truly makes the family feel “WHOLE”! She is even given her name “Luna” by the salon family, because I guess they thought me calling her “dog” wasn’t working. Is that wrong?
As the days and weeks pass it becomes evident that Luna rules the roost. From the clients who ask about her the minute they walk in, to the staff bringing toys and treats for her everyday, Luna has been a pure pleasure. However, there are those few moments that would make even the most avid animal lover squirm.

No. 1 (<u>but it’s really number 2):
On this particular day I was bragging to my client about how Luna was potty trained in just ONE session, when I glance over and see Luna across the salon taking that all so familiar pose that means…A SHIT STORM IS COMING….
My gut reaction is to scream across the salon…..”LUNA….NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”
Which literally scares the CRAP OUT OF HER! As she hurries to hide..all the while leaving a trail of poop along the way!!

Now, the real No. 2:
Typically when I’m working and I can’t see where Luna is, I will call her with a little kissy sound. Maybe you’ve heard it before, *smooch**smooch**smooch*.
Never giving this a second thought, I was blowing out a client who happened to have had some attraction towards me. Oblivious to the fact that I was *smooching* for Luna, the client must have thought I was making a gesture towards her. The next thing I know, my groin was being fondled and her batting eyelashes suggested something I was completely unprepared for. When Luna came running up to me responding to the “kissy”, my client realized her mistake, but truly didn’t seem to mind…as if it was an open door to continue her seduction. My only resort was to lean over and reward Luna for coming to the rescue!!

No. 3, (which never happens in the bathroom..and when it does you should call a doctor)
From time to time, after hours of working, I need to take a short bathroom break. Luna, in her cute way of adoration, will always follow me into the bathroom. As strange as it may sound, but as natural as it occurs, I tend to chat with Luna while going about my bathroom business. Sometimes I address her as my “cute little mouse“, or “little monster“. One day, as I was coming out of the restroom, I noticed several clients looking at me in the most ODD way. Never realizing the implications of my “bathroom conversations” with Luna, I quickly understood what these ladies must have imagined as they listened in to my chatter with Luna, not realizing that it was my little dog I was talking to.

So, in closing, when I originally brought my little companion into the salon, I was doing it for her so she didn’t have to spend her days alone. In reality, her presence in the salon has been for us. She has taught us all to be a little more human….to laugh in moments that otherwise may make us cry, to talk to each other when we may otherwise walk past without a glance, and to find something in common with even the most different than ourselves. Luna, with her measly 4 pounds, has left her impression more than if she weighed a ton!

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VIDEO POETRY: Billy Collins: Two Poems About What Dogs a Think (probably?)

Comments
  1. Art says:

    In my warped mind, I could visually see this happening!!

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